so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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