capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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