apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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