Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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