I think I died a long time ago.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
