i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
