He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
