Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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