he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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