Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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