Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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