Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
