Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Randomize
