Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
