Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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