im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
