Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize