You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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