I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
