She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
