If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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