I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
