For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
