I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Need sex. Gaining weight.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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