Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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