watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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