I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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