it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
