yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
