I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
