before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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