I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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