I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
