Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
