i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
wow bdsm is so cute
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
