people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We have so much sex to catch up on
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
