he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
