bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
my being single is dangerous.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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