RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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