So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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