shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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