I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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