I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
my being single is dangerous.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
