I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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