I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
