just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I have aggressive nipples.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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