So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
