Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
