weddingsv make me drug and hornr
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
