Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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