Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
