Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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