i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
