just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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