Just fell off a train. Bad.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
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