I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
