Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
