super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my being single is dangerous.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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