Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
