Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
