It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
