Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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